Functional Blackouts

S/T ALBUM OUT NOW!! Go to the stolen goods section for details.
Brilliant Chicago band that will surely help you understand the true meaning of the phrase "punk rock". They have blasted out of the gates in 2003 with two 45's (Electrorock, Goodbye Boozy) and this self-titled LP, which was originally released in vinyl format only in OCT 2003 to much critical acclaim. The Functional Blackouts will also feature on the MAYBE CHICAGO? compilation. This band is currently running amok in and around Chicago's sleaziest venues, which are always the best places to see them anyway. Loud. Mean. Original. Approach with caution, may wake you up.

REVIEWS
If the word punk still means anything, these guys are it, and listening to them claw, scratch, and stumble their way through twelve tracks that run the gamut from amazing to annoying will give you a good idea of what more good bands should be doing, and what some of the shittier and more over-hyped “art-damaged” groups are doing wrong.Fuck convention, fuck art-punk, fuck techno, fuck garage rock, and fuck you. - blankgeneration.com

This is the shit! - Shokey Dread

Holy fucking shit! The most crazed intensely wild and dangerous album of the year. If well executed destruction and schizophrenically sophisticated rock'n roll lingering on the bleeding edge of insanity is your bag (and if it's not then stuff this magazine straight up your ass right now) then you're going to gouge out your eyeballs and choke on them over this LP. Produced by the ner-otic Jimmy Hollywood. It's got everything you fast-livin' types want. Dirty drugs, dirty looks and the most jaggedly addicting hooks yer gonna possibly get. Everyone's already worried about these guys and now you'll know why. (Rod) - Horizontal Action Magazine #12

Functional Blackouts have themselves a bit of a classic here - John Peel

Chicago real-deal punk destroyers the FUNCTIONAL BLACKOUTS tear out another room-wrecking blast of fury-fueled old-school punk fucking rock. A raw-power-propelled bombshell of late-'70s styled punk blown in the vein of bands like the Electric Eels and the Screamers. - Revolver USA

My name is Wez Lundry, I write a column for Thrasher, and you sent me a copy
of the Fucntional Blackouts Lp a couple weeks ago. I just sent off my reviews
for this month and included a review of the record. I a always psyched when
Iget soemthing in the mail that I actually like, as opposed to having to go to
the local CD swap and shop and trade in all the shitty promos so I can buy the
good stuff. - Email from Wez Lundry (cheers Wez! We'll post your review here when we get the Thrasher review)

I Don't Get this shit at all! spikeyexploited@yahoo

My name is Mitch Cardwell. I write a monthly column for Maximum RockNRoll.
Anyway, I picked up the new Functional Blackouts LP and it really REALLY
knocked me out. I don't think this little blurb does it justice, (Your email does tho Mitch - Ed) but even still...figured you want to see it. Here ya go:
"There were some other outstanding records released this month. Like the
debut LP by THE FUNCTIONAL BLACKOUTS, released on Criminal I.Q. Records.
2003 has been an incredible year for debut albums, and this S/T debut ranks
among the best I’ve heard all year. After hearing this record, it’s clear
that The Functional Blackouts are worthy of being held in the same high
regard as Midwestern wildcats like THE TYRADES (whose JIMMY HOLLYWOOD
produced The FBs) and CLONE DEFECTS. Any fan of either of those bands is
likely to shit their pants over this album, as it features the same noisy
assault, but is far too punk to be labeled anything else."
Email and review by Mitch Cardwell MRR Dec 2003. Clearly a man with excellent taste.

There are times -tho they are few and far between - where I'll plug a CD in to my player and I will be left completely and utterly gobsmacked. This my dear readers, is one of those times. Chicago's own sons of real bad behavior, the Functional Blackouts are a cantankerous, noisy, trebly, wickedly inventive punk rock band, with a strong emphasis on the word punk. Pure punk. Had this band been hanging around in 1978, I can assure you, with all the confidence I can muster, that record collectors would literally be jumping over each other at record swaps to find their stuff today. Killed by Death for the modern age. BS, The Big Takeover #53